You Are My Wife, Yes You Are!

“When ye divorce women, and they fulfil the term of their (iddah) either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms, but do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage, if any one does that, He wrongs his own soul. Do not treat God signs as a jest, but solemnly rehearse God’s favours on you, and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom, for your instruction. And fear God, and know that God is well acquainted with all things.” (Al-Baqarah: 231)

It puzzles me when I read the news of a woman with two husbands. And it puzzles me even more when I read this statement by the husband “Hasrat saya mahu mengembalikan maruah sebagai suami akhirnya termakbul” in another news clip. I wonder what maruah is he talking about. I have been thinking to write about this since last week, to express my disappointment over the case, but just can't really find time to do it. I am hoping that this case will be an example for all

This case is a perfect example of how the inefficiency of an Islamic Religious Affair office managed to ruin the life of a woman, and also a perfect example of how a husband managed to manipulate Islamic law to suit his own ego. As a result, 4 souls are now in misery.

Absurdity # 1 : The lost of the divorce paper due to flood, the factor forcing the wife to remarry outside Malaysia. Am not sure what the procedures will be should such case happen, gotta refer to my father the next time I meet him. But surely the pejabat agama should be a little more responsible to settle her problem, calling the couple perhaps, even if replacing the paper is not possible? Heh.. perhaps I should teach them on how to develop a disaster recovery plan.

Absurdity # 2 : Fine, husband has the right over his wife to reconcile according to Al-Baqarah 228. But isn't it just plain absurd if the wife was not made known of the reconciliation for 8 years! Then what's the reconciliation for? Surely it wasn't done for fun? Isn't the wife forms part of the reconciliation, such that if she's not made known, it defeats the purpose?

Absurdity #3 : The husband failed to fulfill his responsibility as a husband for 8 years, no maintenance, no relations. For the 8 years, had it not occur to him that the marriage was no longer in a workable condition? Okay.. perhaps the wife was difficult, perhaps the wife was the one who refused to be in peace with one another. But as a responsible husband, had it not occur to him that he should let his wife go to find her own happiness, that it will be better rather than to let her hanging nowhere? Isn't that will be more in line with al-Baqarah 231?

I am hoping that this case is an isolated one. But this can be an example for all women out there, to be careful, and to settle matters right to the end to avoid unnecessary absurdity relating to Malaysian islamic law later on. Remember, the Qur'an gives us right to protect ourselves as outlined in the following verses:

“If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and such settlement is best, even though men’s soul are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self restraint, God is well acquainted with all ye do.” (An-Nisa’:128)

“A divorce is only permissible twice, after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by God. If ye do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by God, there is no blame on either of them if she gives something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by God, so do not transgress them if any do transgress the limits ordained by God, such persons wrong.” (Al-Baqarah: 229)

What If I Don't Have One?

I am now searching for the best place for me to continue my postgraduate study, and now in the midst of filling application forms and writing essays for the applications. Yesterday, as I was looking at International Islamic University's application form, I noticed the following :

B. Personal Information
Religion :
Mazhab :

I wonder what's the purpose of the mazhab column being included. And I wonder what should I put.

When Newspapers Look For Controversies

Have you tried reading some popular newspapers off late, the tabloids especially? I think they are full of stories, not so much of news. I don't know what sort of knowledge they want to pass to the general public, but the fact remains, controversies highlighted.

Last week I witnessed the most unacceptable act of Malaysian medias, by my standard. Perhaps to others it is normal, but I don't see it as acceptable. I was quite shock to read about the group of reporters following an actress to see her husband at the shooting location to hand him the divorce paper. I was quite shock to see that the couple were surrounded by reporters equipped with microphone and cameras, recording the couple's argument. Was that necessary, at that point of time? Really, was that necessary, what sort of message the reporters want the readers to understand by writing in detail of what's happening to both? Perhaps I am a little outdated, perhaps I am a little emotional, perhaps it is part of media freedom, but as a Muslim, isn't it our responsibility to keep the dignity of other Muslims intact?

And when the scene was published in the prime news on TV, I thought it was a little bit too much. It was a prime news, a place where other more important topics should appear. Was it not enough as a column in the newspaper? Was it not enough as a topic in internet? Should it be broadcasted to be watched by the entire country? Please.. it was a private scene where a wife had an argument with her husband, at the time when she was pressured with problems, why should the medias take advantage of that? By publishing the scene on TV, will that helps the couple to reconcile, or at least to get a divorce in a peaceful manner?

I thought it stops at that point, but this TV3 was unreasonable enough to later call the wife to talk about it on TV, through Wanita Hari Ini, to again be scrutinised by the entire country. You are not helping, TV3. And by putting that less-than-sensible presenter in between, it makes the matter worst. It was not the normal Wanita Hari Ini, it became the next Melodi.

The question floating in my mind is, where is the direction of Malaysian medias? Instead of feeding the society with this sort of events, why can't we focus on a more beneficial news as a mean to educate our society? There's no point criticising the so called mentality of our society when this is the type of information being provided on the table.

Malaysian Financial System Can Weather Current Global Financial Turmoil

Bank Negara Malaysia - Press Statements
14 October 2008

Despite the increased volatility in the global financial markets, Malaysian financial institutions remain resilient . Several years of reforms, institutional development and capacity building, continuous efforts to enhance corporate governance and risk management standards and practices have significantly strengthened the banking system. The level of non-performing loans has also improved to 2.5%. In addition, the standardised approach of the Basel II capital adequacy framework was implemented effective January 2008. There is also ample liquidity in
Malaysia 's financial system to facilitate the orderly functioning of economic and financing activities. As at end-August 2008, net interbank placements with Bank Negara Malaysia by the banking system amounted to RM198.5 billion.

The banking and insurance industries are therefore operating with adequate capital and liquidity buffers that have been accumulated over several years. Malaysia 's financial institutions also have negligible exposure toboth sub-prime related securities and to the affected financial institutions of other countries, with more than 90% of total assets of the banks and insurance companies in ringgit denominated assets. In addition, all foreign financial institutions in Malaysia are locally incorporated and have a high level of capital that is committed to support their domestic operations. As at end-August 2008, the risk-weighted capital ratio for these foreign financial institutions was at 12.6%.

The banking system's leverage position remains manageable and continues to record strong risk-weighted capital ratio of 13.2% as at end-August 2008, exceeding the minimum 8% capital requirement by RM42.3 billion. The insurance industry also recorded high solvency surplus of RM16.5 billion. The strong capital position combined with ample liquidity provides adequate capacity to the banking system to continue to perform its intermediation function and to meet its financial commitments as well as the demands for financing and financial services in supporting domestic economic activities. The aggregate domestic household sector continues to exhibit stable level of indebtedness and wealth where total financial assets are more than two times of total debts. Overall, corporations also continue to exhibit sound financial position and manageable leverage position with debt-to-equity ratio of 48% in the first half of 2008.

The Central Bank has a fully developed supervisory and surveillance system. It continuously monitors all financial institutions under its purview and will take appropriate action to safeguard the soundness of the financial system. The Bank stands ready to provide liquidity, whenever necessary, to financial institutions under its purview. The Bank is also closely engaging with the other monetary authorities in the region to monitor and respond with co-ordinated measures in managing the current challenging environment.

The Word Fair In My Dictionary

If there's any topic in this world I rather not talk about, it will be of polygamy. Partly because it is such a sensitive issue that not everybody will be comfortable discussing about. And the fact that sometimes people, Malay especially, tend to be judgemental over it. Especially since my views always contradict with the normal accepted ones, so I thought, hey.. I rather not hurt anybody with my less-than-acceptable views. In many occassions, I tend to keep quiet at the time when everybody around me starts discussing polygamy.

I had a little chat with a friend earlier this week, on the issue of fairness, a leisure one actually. She suddenly brought up the issue of fairness within a family practicing polygamy. On how a husband practicing polygamy should treat his wives, and how far he has to be fair to each. I remember going through discussions after discussions opened in Family Discussion forum on polygamy, and I concluded that the acceptable practice by the society is always when the husband divides his days and materials equally among his wives. Anything less than that will be considered unfair thus unacceptable. While I certainly respect the view, and I am sure if that is what acceptable by the family and make them happy, by all means do it. But I somehow thought that not all family institutions are the same, not all marriages are the same, and certainly not everybody is the same. So I believe there's no one single method which will be applicable and suitable to all scenarios.

I adopted this principle of fairness long time ago.. that fair means assigning the right thing to the right place. By saying that will also mean that not everybody needs the same thing, at the same rate. Consider our children for example, I am sure we don't spend exactly the same amount of money to each and everyone of them isn't it? But that doesn't make us an unfair parents. Similarly, the needs of each wife is often different from one another. To give them equally will then go against the fair definition within my dictionary, IF, the equality results in one of them being deprived from getting her needs by getting less than what she needs just because her portion needs to be given to another in the name of equality, in the name of fairness. Is my sentence that long that I myself can't understand what am I talking about now? Yeah.. I think so..

The question will be as to whether each of the wives will be redha enough with the differences. More often than not, wives will just think of their own rights, the right to be treated the same. How many will think of each other's needs, or the right of the family as a whole?

Do We Get To Choose Our Premier?

There will be a job vacancy in Malaysia next March. Fancy sending a resume to apply, anybody? 5 months to go.. and the next five months might be interesting.

So, who's the next successor then? As of now, I think it is quite a clear cut, though it is not that certain... with the transition plan and all, he is technically the successor. I was thinking like.. hey.. somebody already determined who our next premier will be, do we get the say in the decision making? That leads to me thinking.. err... am I too stupid to understand what democracy really means? As of now, I stubbornly stand by my opinion : we are not in a democratic-enough nation, considering we don't get to choose who the number one man should be. Well... yeah.. we get the opportunity to choose the line of leaders, to represent the government in serving the country. But technically, it is the number one man who has the most influence in driving where the country will be heading to. Even they are coming from within the same boat, Dr M's era was very different from Pak Lah's.

So, who get to choose the premier? Those within the leading political party? Are we now talking about choosing a party president or the head of the government? Are we now talking about determining the person who will serve the party or the person who will serve the rakyat in this country? How many people are there within the party, and are their voice represents the majority? That puzzles me.. sounds like the right to choose who will be the ultimate leader is the sole right of people within the party.

Fancy having an election to choose our Prime Minister? Hey.. I want to! Wouldn't it be interesting if we get to go through debate after debate, and later cast our votes in the election to choose who who we want as the Prime Minister?

When The Sources Are Not Verified

Do you guys realised that sometimes some Malays tend to be obedient towards their ustaz / ustazah? Nothing wrong with being obedient and to listen to what somebody with more knowledge is saying. But what is disturbing is, some do take the words of these people as true and accurate, that they do sometimes spread it without even checking the validity of the statements made.

Years of my involvement moderating a muslimin and muslimat forum, I am used to see forumners being easily attracted to issues relating to Jews. It is very common to see Muslims, out of hate, blame Jews for whatever defects happening in the muslim world, including the morale factors. Even some refused to admit that the problem with our akhlaq is our own problem. Not that I am backing Jews or anything, but it is just that I do sometimes feel that we tend to be unreasonable in blaming others for what happened to us. Looking at it from the 7-Habits perspective, are we now at the very beginning of "dependance" stage, that we still rely on others to take care of our own problem, our own akhlaq?

Anyway, that's beside the point. I was moderating in the forum when I found a thread opened by a forumner to spread about the Protocols of Learned Elders of Zion. As I said earlier, when it comes to blaming Jews for what happened to us, it can easily attract some people. It was then linked to an article in Jabatan Mufti Pulau Pinang's website, Protokol Yahudi : Satu Pendedahan Terhadap Konspirasi Dan Perancangan Jahat Yahudi Ke Atas Dunia. The part where I am quite disturbed with, is the fact that Protocols of Learned Elders of Zion is known to be not authentic, it is a hoax and a fraud. So when an official body's website is the one publishing it as if it is a doctrine in Jews' belief system, people can easily think that it is true and subsequently spread it. With due respect, as much as we do not want people from other religions to spread lies and misunderstanding about Qur'an and Islam, we should also do the same to other religions. Forgive me for writing this against an article written by a learned Muslim scholar, with due repect, I just think that there are more other things we should do to strengthen our ummah, rather than to shower them with this sort of inaccurate information.

May Allah preserves us and our ummah, insyaallah.

Men Can Do What Women Cannot Do

The past few days, people in forum have been touching on the aspect of gender equality when they talk about head covering. Funny... I mean for generation, nobody ever questioned as to why women are required to wear bra while men do not have to. Anyway, that's not the point. I was just thinking of how we sometimes assign different values to men and women, I am talking in the context of what is happening within the Malay society.

Okey, this is only one example. I was searching for some Economics books at MPH when I overheard the conversation between two girls standing right beside me. The following is the simplified version of their conversation (not that I sibuk-sibuk listening hokay):

Girl A : I think he prefers different kind of women..
Girl B : No lah.. he just haven't seen the beautiful part of you.. that's why he left you.. is the new girlfriend stylish?
Girl A : Yeah.. fashionable type... she's kinda beautiful... oh by the way, I saw her last week at the cafe smoking.. like a bitch...
Girl B : eeeeeiiiiiii..... you mean he dumped you for a bitchy smoking woman? Is he blind or what?

Okey.. that's part of the conversation between the two girls. Notice the word assigned to the smoking woman? A bitch. Within the Malay society, women smoking is a big no-no. But I somehow wonder why is it that men can pass the litmus test. I mean, if the society think that women can't smoke due to its bad effects on women's body, why men are allowed to smoke it then? It has bad effects on men too. Not to mention that it also affects the passive smoker. And if it is only for health reason that women are not allowed to do so, what's the relevance of the word bitch?

While I do believe that women and men alike should stay away from smoking due to its bad effects, I do not see the relevance of calling a smoking woman by that not-so-pleasant word. I do not see the relevance of downgrading a woman by just looking at her smoking habit. I mean, my late great-grandmother smoked rokok daun and I am sure many old women do that in the past too. And I also personally know a sister who smoke, but she prays five times a day, cover her awrah etc. But she has to do it in private, just so Malays around her would not uh-ahing over it.

So, anybody can tell me why men can do it so freely without being a centre of attack, but not for women?